Things my roommate would hate about me

· I am a bloody mess. It’s something that has been given to me from god since birth. My room is always a bloody mess. Before I left for Delhi, my mother would tell me that she feels sorry for my “would be” roommate. I would like to think that I am not as messy as I was when I was at home. At home I admit that I was a total mess. After a shower I would just walk out of the bathroom dripping water all over the place, or when I change my cloths I would just put them in the floor and let it dry for a few days. Here I am only moderately messy. My books would be all over my side of the room, you would need to be an expert explorer to get something from my table and don’t get me started on the way I keep my cloths. Even though my side is a mess, I am considerate enough to ensure that it doesn’t spill over to my roomies side.

· I have weird sleeping habits. Fortunately for my roommate, he has only witnessed only a few till now. Now I am a big guy and most normal beds won’t fit me. I prefer to sleep in a diagonal manner and I am used to sleeping in that way. Unfortunately when you have a roommate who is 1/5^th your size, this habit becomes a problem. I think every night he fears getting crushed by me! Apparently the poor guy begs me at night to give him space and surprisingly I oblige.

· I love to have ventilation in my room. Unfortunately at our hostel, if you get ventilation you get a lot of blood thirsty insects with it. I hate staying in a room with no ventilation; I rather get bitten than get deprived of oxygen. Now my roomie gets all emotional when it comes to insects. He jumps up and down, screams like a girl when he sees one. To avoid all this he keeps the doors and windows close, which is not something I would agree to and in the end we both get bitten by bug and get ridiculously huge and disgusting scars and he blames all that on me!

· This is kind of a secret. I am not sure if he knows about it or not. He has this liquid soap which is so convenient to use. I tend to steal it at times. Well who am I kidding; I use it at every possible opportunity that I get.

· Now this is a very emotional issue for my roommate. I sometimes like to indulge in gay humour and he gets all sensitive about it. I have spread the word that all the scars on my arms and legs are not insect bites but have come as a result of certain things that he did during night. The guy doesn’t have any sense of humour to takes these things as a joke and would go all emotional.

There would be plenty more things which would drive my roomie crazy, which I believe he would let me know loud and clear in the days to come. But as you can see, one should be blessed to get a roommate like me, who has only a very few bad qualities:-P

Hostel Life

This is the first time I am living in a hostel; so naturally, I would be very “bitchy” about it. The thing I hate most about our hostel is the Indian toilets that we have. Goodness gracious me, we are bloody MBA students in the 21^st century and we have to forcibly do squats every morning! As I recently found out tummy trouble and Indian closet do not go hand in hand. Sitting in a crouching position for more than 30 seconds is not the most comfortable thing in the world. Getting up after 30sec for some pain relief aint the most comforting feeling either. I could go on, but to maintain some order its better if I stop now. Ah one more thing, there is no bloody ventilation inside the toilet! When you are sick it’s not the best place to be in.

Next in line would be the room. It’s too bloody small. There isn’t enough space to move around or even keep my books. There is proper ventilation but the problem with the ventilation is that, when it’s there, all our insect friends come in. I have insect bites all over my body and it’s pretty nasty. The insects in Delhi are quite mean. They are out to kill you! My arms and legs are filled with disgusting and painful sores.

Now something that is very close to my heart, food! We are served garbage here. Its filthy and tasteless every day, well let me be fair, some days it tastes good. I seriously doubt if they wash the plates. The way the people who serve the food play around with it using their hands arises a special feeling which cannot be explained. The bloody food is same on most of the days. These people are obsessed with potato and chappaties!! They give you lassies which taste like water! On the rare days they give us sweets, its pretty good. I had never thought that a day would come where I would eat just for the sake of eating! And don’t get me started on the quality of water I get. I get the feeling by the time I pass out; I would get familiarized with all the water born diseases.

The worst part of the hostel is that it’s about 2km from the college. So a whole lot of fun is lost. Regardless of all these atrocities, it’s pretty cool being in a hostel, one gets to have a whole lot of fun. The birthday celebrations where “Happy Birthday” is sung by boys in the worst possible way, getting to know about the swear words in different languages, sitting at talking about girls late at night, all the “brotherly love”, wacky roommate with whom you would have stupid differences with, etc are things which you won’t get if you stay at home. So over all life in the hostel is fun and one would just ignore all the crappy things around and have a good time.