Its official - I AM HUMAN

Yesterday night as I was reading the flaws in Barak Obama's election campaign in my grand dad's house, i got an sms from a friend saying " our joining date came, August 28th, Chennai". At first I was like, ok cool. After a few seconds I got this really sick feeling that i am losing something thing. After another few seconds I was back to being cool. Called my friend up, talked about leaving and stuff, as my cell phone didn’t have much charge couldn’t talk for long. Before leaving home for my grand dad's house I saw that my cell didn’t have enough charge, but as I don’t get that many calls I decided not to take my charger. As luck would have it, I got the most no of sms's and phone calls yesterday since I took my cell.

After hanging up, I read the remaining part of the news paper, did some math and by 1:30 decided to go to sleep. After a few seconds, I couldn’t believe it. Me, Ken John Koshy, of all the people in the world. Mr. Tough guy, Mr. No Emotions, the person who always thinks in a logical fashion, who knows about the uncertainties and realities of life, who is realistic to the core, started to weep like a child who can not find its parent. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time, In fact I haven’t cried for that long a time that i forgot how to stop crying. I couldn’t breathe; water couldn’t stop falling from my eyes. Apparently this went on for more than 2 hours. I think the fact that so much violence is happening in India these days might have added to my sorrow.

After a while I was happy that I cried. I never had I thought that I would cry because a friend is leaving, after all it’s an eventuality. I always thought of my self to be emotional detached but from the information collected till now, I am the only fucking person who cried till now on this issue. The feeling that I got yesterday was a feeling I always wanted to get. It proved that I was a human being with feelings.

When I thought about this, this person was a friend of mine from the start of college. We had a love hate relationship, more of hate in the early years and more of love towards the later part. Never in the wildest dreams had I thought that I would be so said about the person leaving that I would sit and mop for 2 hours. She has given me many new experiences (nothing naughty), and this is the latest one. I have never in my life cried because I would miss something so badly. I am not sure how I will be passing my free time after 28th. When people in my college said they would miss college life and their friends, I was like; I won’t be missing any one. It’s a reality; we all have to part ways. Such feelings are either childish or artificial. Today I am saying I will miss all my friends :-<:-<:-<:((:((:((:(( What the fuck is wrong with me:((:((